The Ghost Girl of Route 26. The Turner Beast. Killer Kiddie Clowns. Eight-legged Horrors. Crazed Kidnappers. The Gauntlet: Not just another quiet autumn ride in the Maine woods

MECHANIC FALLS – There was a moment – I’m just going to go ahead and admit it – when I thought the screeching ladies in white were for real. Enraged about my frequent stories on the ghost of Route 26, the girls were out of their graves and coming to haul me off the hay wagon and into the night.

The kiddie clowns with chainsaws didn’t do much for my nerves, either. I could probably contend with the notion of clowns carrying deadly machinery, but kids? Unsettling. Very unsettling.

The secret of success at The Gauntlet Haunted Night Ride is not the bloody buckets full of money thrown at state-of-the-art animatronics. That helps, don’t get me wrong.

But what Jeff Strout and Peter Bolduc did right most of all was going with the familiar.

Let’s face it. Anybody can march out a headless horseman or screeching witch. But those are mere cartoon characters and we recognize them as fiction at once. Our trousers stay dry because we are never carried above the line of make believe.

In your 20-minute ride through the woods at Harvest Hill Farms, you will be faced with – nay menaced by! – things that scare you in the real world.

Crazy men that come out of nowhere. The horror of a car wreck. Overgrown spiders and demented dogs and there you have it. Time for a trouser change.

The Gauntlet is loud like clapping thunder and it is as real as a haunted attraction can possibly be. For me, the local flavor puts it over the edge.

The ghost girl of Poland? You’ve read about her, heard all the talk about her ghostly visage along dark Route 26. You might even know someone who has seen her.

Think about it too much, you could get to thinking of that slobbering dog as a fine representation of The Turner Beast. No fewer than three of my troubled friends saw it that way.

Hillbillies are nothing to get excited about, normally. We have them all over the place. What you discover these guys doing, though, might keep you off the back roads for a while.

Spiders? Forget it. I won’t tell you the nature of the Gauntlet arachnid, but rest assured there is suffering within her web. The kind of suffering that leaves you batting at the back of your shirt, convinced an eight-legged horror has mounted you.

I shall also not tell you much about the ghastliness of a porcine nature, other than to say that you probably won't go out for pork chops following your ride.

Good, familiar frights. But the creepy Strout-Bolduc duo is a little bit blessed by location, as well. The woods around Harvest Hill Farms are ideal for a hayride. The trees are appropriately gaunt and they throw shadows that look like bones. With every half-acre comes a new curve around which you are pulled deeper into the dark.

Around every new curve is a different atrocity.

That the team threw a lot of money into special effects is beyond argument. The props are some of the finest you’ll see, and a few seem honestly capable of eating you.

But Strout and Bolduc also took pains to hire quality people to run their show. These are the folks who fling themselves at you from the dark. Who scream when you are enjoying a rare moment of silence. Who stretch their cadaver hands in your direction and make you wonder if you should have just stayed home to rent a movie.

The Gauntlet is an ideal attraction if you’re into getting spooked. It’s perfect for a first date. If you’re bringing kids under 10 years of age, well . . . judgment call.

The Gauntlet joins Pumpkin Land, the Big Corn Maze Adventure, a farm stand, a petting zoo and Farm House Pizza & Deli, all at Harvest Hill Farms. There’s a less horrifying and less expensive day ride for younger kids or for the bladder-troubled.

For the Gauntlet, it’s $12.50 and that rate may go up at the middle of the month. There are military discounts and there seem to be some perks to ordering online.

A suggestion: Go early or call ahead to guarantee smooth sailing into the terror. The first night I made the trip out with a group, we were told at the gate that the late show was cancelled. The second night, there was some confusion over lines for the ride.

It’s worth scoping out before you make the drive. Pre-show hassles are not the kind of nightmare you’re looking for.

Information on The Gauntlet, including ticket purchasing, can be found at http://www.harvesthillfarms.com/Gauntlet.html